"Is man no more than this?"

 

--from King Lear by William Shakespeare

 

We've been studying the play in English.  It's actually pretty good.  Keeping in mind that I really don't enjoy school reading assignments, this is high praise.  That line is spoken by Lear amidst his insanity, yet this particular line is of profound depth and clarity. 

 

Anyway, this week has been semi-rough.  Jazz band Monday through Wednesday.  The concert last night.  College crap.  The fact that I had a test in every class period 1-4 on Monday morning.  My parents.  Ms. Allen still hasn't graded the test our class took two weeks ago.  That awful presentation I gave on aggression.  Someone I thought was my friend but now I'm not so sure what I want anymore.  The fact that I'm now so drained I'm only writing fragments. 

 

There were good moments, too...  Wendy's.  Standing in the middle of the street.  Ashley came home (a complete sentence, just for you). 

 

Alright, so I was just looking at a few people's myspace profiles, and I was reminded of something that bugs the hell out of me…

 

But first, another something that bugs me to no end… when people in math class use the words minus and times like they are verbs…. Here's an example:  "You have to times it by two."  Actually, no, you stand to be corrected… you have to multiply it by two.  That's just one of those little things that drive me nuts.  But we did learn the fundamental theorem of the calculus in class today, so that was pretty exciting (this is sarcastic).

 

Anyway, back to the previous paragraph.  People tell other people "never change."  I've heard it a lot.  Is that your idea of some kind of term of endearment?  I mean I can kind of understand that you're telling someone you like who they are right then, but how dare you ask him or her not to change?  Only with change can you have evolution, growth and progress.  And you really want to stop someone from all of that?  I want to believe you're just confused… it's a social script for you (psychology term), and you think it's something nice to say.  I find it downright insulting.  Now I recognize that other people don't see it this way, so I try not to be offended when I hear it.  But it bothers me.  A lot.  It's like asking someone to be stagnant.  Why not just put them into deep freeze for a while and take them out again later so they're exactly who you remember them to be.  A part of what makes life so beautiful is that we can change.  We can change.  Sure, some things are hard to change – I'm not trying to deny that.  But people change, and they should change.  It's a part of our deepest characteristics as humans. 

 

Here's a song to demonstrate what I mean.  Big thanks to Kenny Chesney…

 

"Here's to the strong, thanks to the brave

Don't give up hope, some people change

Against all odds, against the grain

Love finds a way, some people change"

 

In the context of the song, it's not exactly what I'm trying to get across, but it's a good song.

 

If we didn't change, we would be very, very boring.  You should embrace the mystery that each day brings new life to all of us.  Respect others enough to remember not to tell them not to change (I don't care that that's a double negative).

 

Alright, enough of that…

 

I miss my friend.  Or someone who I thought was my friend.  I don't know if I really miss him, but I miss the idea of him, or at least the way he used to treat me.  It hasn't always been this way between us.  Maybe we're just changing and growing apart, but that makes me sad.  He's been a jerk to me lately, and I really don't know what to think of him.  But that's life I suppose.  I just wish he would realize that he really does hurt me, and I wish he would treat me a little better from time to time.

 

But we can't all get what we wish for.

 

Holy shit.  Yesterday was December 14, and I didn't even realize it until just now.  I don't even know what to think.  Yesterday, I had a very nice end (or a few hours before the end) to what would have otherwise been not such a good day.  I thank Matt for that.  He's great.

 

I can't believe I forgot the date.  I don't know what I should think of myself or my mind for that.  I suppose that it's good in some ways that I didn't remember.  Enough of that...

 

Here's to a Steeler victory this weekend!!!!